Monday, June 20, 2011

Making a Difference

I'm sometimes asked if I think meditation and my work with different spiritual teachers has made a difference in my life, and my work life in particular.

It's a difficult question to answer, because there's no real way to know for sure. But this is what I feel--

I am calmer and more focused.

I am more honest and willing to be vulnerable.

I am more aware of what's actually happening versus what's "my stuff."

And I'm less reactive when my stuff comes up. Let's face it, any time there is an emotional reaction to something, chances are there is some stuff for you in there if you look for it. If you can see that and just ride it out instead of attacking or defending, it can make a huge difference.

How does this make a difference at work? When I can set aside my worries and my agenda, I can focus on the other person. I can listen. The other person feels heard and valued. I'm worried about them rather than defending me. I can do my very best to meet their needs, to help solve their problems. And we both win when that happens.

I am sometimes selfish and unkind and gossipy. But in other moments, in moments of clarity that happen more and more, I'm able to establish connection and trust. And that changes everything.

Did those changes happen overnight? No, and in some ways I feel like they're only beginning.

Jeff

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