One of my coaching clients asked what he should be feeling at the end of the nine month Radiant Mind course. (The third and final weekend is coming in February.) He was trying to get a sense, I think, of whether he had done well, of whether he had made use of all the course has to offer (exercises, phone calls, in person weekends, and so forth).
My answer was that the ideal student would see that none of the work had been necessary.
We're so used to thinking about goals. In almost all areas of our lives, we measure ourselves by explicit or implicit goals. Sometimes, we write these goals out and put them somewhere so we can keep track. Sometimes, though, we merely compare ourselves to others to see how we are doing. All in the context of an idea that we have about where we should be, and how we should be feeling.
What we often don't see is that those thoughts are not reality. The truth is that we are here, exactly right here, feeling and doing and thinking exactly what we are feeling and doing and thinking.
And this is always true. We will never get to any imagined future. We will never undo any regretted past.
We spend so much time trying to get to someplace else that we don't notice where we already are. Where we always are.
Just here. In this moment.
Things change when we see this. Yet the only difference between "before" and "after" is that we now see there is no other place we can be. That we were never anywhere else.
The paradox is that it often takes years of work to see that.