Thursday, October 21, 2010

Forgiving Ourselves

I have been a jerk. And I will probably be a jerk again.

When we screw up, we so badly want to blame someone else. Maybe our boss was unreasonable, or the ex was late (again!). Maybe a friend let us down.

What we often fail to see is that our expectations were unreasonable.

Why do I say that? Because what we expected (or hoped for) did not happen. Whether those expectations were of ourselves, of another person, or (remarkably) of the weather or traffic.

Every time there is a gap between what we want and what we get, there is an opportunity for practice. Suffering arises in that gap. Rich, sticky, gooey suffering. And when we are able to rest in that suffering, to really get to know it, we take a big step toward letting it go.

Along with those expectations.


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