So what will happen if you establish a meditation practice?
I don't know. And I don't know if "now" or "later" or "never" is the right choice for you.
I can give you an idea of what meditation practice has been for me. But I am not sure that is a good idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is not. I will only say that over time, I have become more calm, and more kind, to others and to myself. I am more accepting of whatever is happening in life. And I am more and more open to the idea that I cannot know what will happen next, and that this is, in fact, an essential part of life's beauty.
But that certainly doesn't happen all at once, or smoothly. It happens in fits and starts, and with ups and downs. Perhaps it is a smooth road for some. It has not been for me, but it has been a rewarding one, and I trust that it will continue to be. In many senses, I feel like I am only beginning, after 14 years.
Meditation is the ultimate personal journey. Generally, there will be meditations that you call "good" that are peaceful and relaxing, and those that are "bad" where a painful experience comes up or you can barely sit still. Consider that you may not be best situated to determine whether something is good or bad. Consider that something is happening because on some level, it needs to happen. That it is part of your journey, part of your unfolding. And do your best to honor everything that happens when you sit (and when you are "off the cushion," too).
Wherever we may have been, whatever has happened to us in life, each moment presents new choices. May we honor the choices that we and others make.
Good luck to you. Let me know what happens!