Thursday, March 25, 2010

Being with Anxiety

Sometimes I have the urge to do something, anything, but I am not sure what that something is.

This can turn into a tremendous time waster. It can turn into surfing the internet or making phone calls or sending emails or "doing research." Often, though, I say that I don't know what to do. But I do. And the reason that I don't just do it is that I am afraid. The research or the preliminaries are just the obstacles that I put up so that I don't have to do that thing I am afraid of.

I might be afraid of embarrassing myself, or failing, or succeeding. I might be afraid of being out on the edge, exposed, or judged. I might be afraid of doing something so outstanding that no one can ignore me anymore. I might be afraid of saying what I really think.

And I might be writing in this blog, among other things, to avoid having to face those things.

Can I take the first step, to be with the anxiety of doing that thing I am afraid of? Can I get comfortable with discomfort?


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