The only time that you can be happy is right now.
To have requirements pushes happiness into the future. Nothing in the future can happen. If the future can be said to exist at all, it does so only in our imaginations. If happiness is possible, and I know from experience that it is, it must be possible right now.
No matter what you are doing. No matter your job or partner or circumstances.
Open to the possibility of beauty in this moment and you will find happiness, full-throated and singing, smiling back at you.
Jeff
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's Not Complicated
I'd like you to try an experiment.
First, stand still. Then, lift your left foot up slightly. Lean forward just a bit, until you feel yourself begin to lose your balance. At that precise moment, place your left foot out and down about 24 inches from your right foot and in line with your left shoulder and hip. While you are doing this, swing your right arm out from your body, keeping it in line with your right shoulder (forming a continuous right angle with your trunk).
As you land on your left foot, begin to shift your weight from your right foot to your left. Once your weight is fully shifted onto your left foot, use your knee and hip to lift your right foot from the ground as you begin to activate your left hand. Swing your right foot and left hand forward together, again until you feel yourself lose your balance. Use your right foot to catch your weight, again about 24 inches from where your left foot is, in line with your right shoulder and hip. And while you are doing this, simultaneously swing your left hand forward, keeping it in line with your left shoulder.
Repeat these movements, alternating sides, left and right, left and right.
I hope you figured out by now that this experiment is called "walking." I also hope you figured out that describing walking is not very helpful to someone who is trying to walk. (Nor is it easy--I'm still not sure that I described it even close to correctly.)
So it is with unconditioned awareness. The mind wants to make it complicated. It wants to build a model. It wants to explain exactly what it is doing.
But if the mind is explaining, it's the left hemisphere that is in control. If you are following a model, you are not resting in unconditioned awareness.
Resting in unconditioned awareness is, first and foremost, rest. It's resting in the present moment, with no need to be doing anything, no need for anything to be different. Language is completely inadequate because it is so simple. It is the very essence of just being, without any preferences or needs.
Our minds want to make this into something. But unconditioned awareness isn't anything. And models only take us away from that.
Jeff
First, stand still. Then, lift your left foot up slightly. Lean forward just a bit, until you feel yourself begin to lose your balance. At that precise moment, place your left foot out and down about 24 inches from your right foot and in line with your left shoulder and hip. While you are doing this, swing your right arm out from your body, keeping it in line with your right shoulder (forming a continuous right angle with your trunk).
As you land on your left foot, begin to shift your weight from your right foot to your left. Once your weight is fully shifted onto your left foot, use your knee and hip to lift your right foot from the ground as you begin to activate your left hand. Swing your right foot and left hand forward together, again until you feel yourself lose your balance. Use your right foot to catch your weight, again about 24 inches from where your left foot is, in line with your right shoulder and hip. And while you are doing this, simultaneously swing your left hand forward, keeping it in line with your left shoulder.
Repeat these movements, alternating sides, left and right, left and right.
I hope you figured out by now that this experiment is called "walking." I also hope you figured out that describing walking is not very helpful to someone who is trying to walk. (Nor is it easy--I'm still not sure that I described it even close to correctly.)
So it is with unconditioned awareness. The mind wants to make it complicated. It wants to build a model. It wants to explain exactly what it is doing.
But if the mind is explaining, it's the left hemisphere that is in control. If you are following a model, you are not resting in unconditioned awareness.
Resting in unconditioned awareness is, first and foremost, rest. It's resting in the present moment, with no need to be doing anything, no need for anything to be different. Language is completely inadequate because it is so simple. It is the very essence of just being, without any preferences or needs.
Our minds want to make this into something. But unconditioned awareness isn't anything. And models only take us away from that.
Jeff
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Getting It Backwards
Much of the world tells us that if we do the right things, we will be happy. We think that happiness, if it ever comes, will be in our future.
But what if we can be happy right now? And what if that happiness makes us more likely to do the things we have always dreamed about? Rather than the other way around?
That might sound utterly impossible. We might be under so much stress that it is difficult to think about anything other than all the bad things, all the things we don't want, that are happening right now. But what if we could open to another way of looking at the world?
I've talked about the world as experienced by the left hemisphere and right hemisphere of the brain.
The left hemisphere is the list maker. We're used to the demands of the left side--we hear them all the time in the form of our thoughts. "You should pick up the dry cleaning. You need a better job. Why can't you be more like your sister?" The left hemisphere doesn't do happiness, because it is never complete. It is always comparing what is with what it wants and coming up short. And it is almost always hard at work, determined to do what's best for us.
The right hemisphere doesn't use language at all. Instead, it's planted firmly in this moment, and frankly, it's quite in awe of it.
Sometimes, we notice the right hemisphere. It is the one that stops and smells the roses. It sees the smile on a child's face. The wonder of a sunset. The right hemisphere is always resting. Always healing. And always happy. Regardless of our circumstances. Regardless of what the left brain is telling us is missing.
Do we really think we're going to find happiness by adding more to our lists? By focusing on what we don't have? By giving the keys to the left brain, which seems to want to be anywhere but here?
Or can we see that right now, we're already complete?
Jeff
But what if we can be happy right now? And what if that happiness makes us more likely to do the things we have always dreamed about? Rather than the other way around?
That might sound utterly impossible. We might be under so much stress that it is difficult to think about anything other than all the bad things, all the things we don't want, that are happening right now. But what if we could open to another way of looking at the world?
I've talked about the world as experienced by the left hemisphere and right hemisphere of the brain.
The left hemisphere is the list maker. We're used to the demands of the left side--we hear them all the time in the form of our thoughts. "You should pick up the dry cleaning. You need a better job. Why can't you be more like your sister?" The left hemisphere doesn't do happiness, because it is never complete. It is always comparing what is with what it wants and coming up short. And it is almost always hard at work, determined to do what's best for us.
The right hemisphere doesn't use language at all. Instead, it's planted firmly in this moment, and frankly, it's quite in awe of it.
Sometimes, we notice the right hemisphere. It is the one that stops and smells the roses. It sees the smile on a child's face. The wonder of a sunset. The right hemisphere is always resting. Always healing. And always happy. Regardless of our circumstances. Regardless of what the left brain is telling us is missing.
Do we really think we're going to find happiness by adding more to our lists? By focusing on what we don't have? By giving the keys to the left brain, which seems to want to be anywhere but here?
Or can we see that right now, we're already complete?
Jeff
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Is It True?
One of my favorite nondual teachers is Byron Katie.
A lot of people don't think of Byron Katie as a nondual teacher, and that's one of the reasons her work is so powerful.
The first question that she asks a student who's struggling is "Is it true?" And the second she asks is "Is it really true?"
Is it really true that your brother hates you? Is it really true that you should have a better job? Is it really true that your relationship is a mess?
Bryon Katie helps people find that there are other truths that are just as powerful.
Maybe I hate my brother, and not the other way around.
Maybe my relationship isn't a mess. Maybe I am.
Every thought expresses a point of view, and most often, we just look for evidence to prove the stories we tell about ourselves. And we ignore things that might fly in the face of those stories.
But the truth is seldom that convenient, or simple. The truth can be harsh, even cruel, but it can also be our best teacher.
Jeff
A lot of people don't think of Byron Katie as a nondual teacher, and that's one of the reasons her work is so powerful.
The first question that she asks a student who's struggling is "Is it true?" And the second she asks is "Is it really true?"
Is it really true that your brother hates you? Is it really true that you should have a better job? Is it really true that your relationship is a mess?
Bryon Katie helps people find that there are other truths that are just as powerful.
Maybe I hate my brother, and not the other way around.
Maybe my relationship isn't a mess. Maybe I am.
Every thought expresses a point of view, and most often, we just look for evidence to prove the stories we tell about ourselves. And we ignore things that might fly in the face of those stories.
But the truth is seldom that convenient, or simple. The truth can be harsh, even cruel, but it can also be our best teacher.
Jeff
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Under the Weather
Over the weekend I was on retreat with Peter Fenner in Vancouver. On the first day, I came down with a pretty violent bug.
When I left home, my 2 year old had been getting through his own version of the bug. And my wife, at home, was coming down with the bug, and having to take care of him, while I was in Vancouver getting sick as well.
It was a mess.
What struck me at the time was the different thoughts that I was having about the sickness. I felt bad that I was away from home. I felt bad that Jen was having to deal with so much by herself. I had fleeting thoughts that my retreat was ruined because I had gotten sick, that I should have taken better care of myself, that there was something I could have done or should have done to avoid this.
But I felt lucky that I had made it all the way to Vancouver before getting sick. That I had a room to go to instead of being sick on a plane. That it was not worse--it was just a bug and I would get though it. And I felt truly blessed that there were people in Vancouver who were helping me---bringing me soup and Sprite--while there were people at home helping Jen with Lucas so that she could rest.
What I found myself noticing, and accepting, was that people get sick from time to time. That it was my turn. That this is one of the gifts of having a young child, and that you can't get the joys of parenting without some of the downsides, too.
As much as we would like to think otherwise, people get sick. And the less we resist it, the easier it seems to be to deal with it.
Jeff
When I left home, my 2 year old had been getting through his own version of the bug. And my wife, at home, was coming down with the bug, and having to take care of him, while I was in Vancouver getting sick as well.
It was a mess.
What struck me at the time was the different thoughts that I was having about the sickness. I felt bad that I was away from home. I felt bad that Jen was having to deal with so much by herself. I had fleeting thoughts that my retreat was ruined because I had gotten sick, that I should have taken better care of myself, that there was something I could have done or should have done to avoid this.
But I felt lucky that I had made it all the way to Vancouver before getting sick. That I had a room to go to instead of being sick on a plane. That it was not worse--it was just a bug and I would get though it. And I felt truly blessed that there were people in Vancouver who were helping me---bringing me soup and Sprite--while there were people at home helping Jen with Lucas so that she could rest.
What I found myself noticing, and accepting, was that people get sick from time to time. That it was my turn. That this is one of the gifts of having a young child, and that you can't get the joys of parenting without some of the downsides, too.
As much as we would like to think otherwise, people get sick. And the less we resist it, the easier it seems to be to deal with it.
Jeff
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Looking Back with Gratitude
I've spent three wonderful years in Peter Fenner's Radiant Mind program, as a student, mentor, and coach. And this weekend is the last weekend of that process.
At the end of three years I can ask myself what do I have to show for it, and I am thrilled to answer--absolutely nothing! And yet everything, too. The program has had a profound effect on how I look at myself and the world.
I've written a lot in this blog about what I have learned, and unlearned, in Radiant Mind. I won't repeat it here. I will say, though, that I am filled with gratitude for having had the privilege to work with Peter, and I look forward to our paths crossing again.
Namaste, Peter.
Jeff
I will return to writing on Tuesday, February 22.
At the end of three years I can ask myself what do I have to show for it, and I am thrilled to answer--absolutely nothing! And yet everything, too. The program has had a profound effect on how I look at myself and the world.
I've written a lot in this blog about what I have learned, and unlearned, in Radiant Mind. I won't repeat it here. I will say, though, that I am filled with gratitude for having had the privilege to work with Peter, and I look forward to our paths crossing again.
Namaste, Peter.
Jeff
I will return to writing on Tuesday, February 22.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
What to Believe
You might think, "I can't do this." Or you might think, "I'm not good enough." Or, "I'll never make it." But these are just thoughts that come and go.
You may not be able to choose the thoughts that pop into your head. But you can choose which ones to believe.
Jeff
You may not be able to choose the thoughts that pop into your head. But you can choose which ones to believe.
Jeff
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