Intention and Attention

I used to think a lot about The Secret--the idea that if we think about things in the right way, the things that we want to happen will happen.

It is a very intoxicating notion--that if we just think correctly, we can have success. That the universe is energy, and that what it brings to you is what you have attracted. Some people swear by this and some are very dismissive of it as New Agey garbage.

I myself have had experiences where I thought that The Secret might be in action. But as time has passed, I have wondered if it is maybe something different, and a bit more subtle.

The Secret says to focus on what you want to happen, rather than the things that you don't want to happen. There is no doubt that this is a good thing. We spend way too much time worrying about bad things, rather than focusing on the good. When we meet someone positive, the chances are very good that if asked, that person will say that they think about the good things in life rather than the bad. That their proverbial glass is half full. And let's face it, those kinds of people are generally more fun to be around. People who are worried all the time are a bit of a downer. They can suck the energy right out of you if you are not careful.

But I am still not sure that attitude is everything. Instead, I wonder if what we accomplish is based on what we pay attention to.

There is a great video on the internet that speaks to this phenomenon. The viewer watches some people playing basketball. Some are in black shirts and some are in white. The viewer is asked to count the number of times the ball is passed among the members of the white team.

While you may be able to count the number of passes, in doing so you miss the other things that are going on. Like the fact that there is a man in a gorilla suit that walks across the frame. The video is a microcosm of life. There is so much information that we never see or process, simply because we are expecting to see, or looking for, something else.

When we have an idea of what we want to do, we tend to notice those things that fit with that idea (and to miss lots of other things). If you want to open a business, you tend to notice things that fit with your idea. Or opportunities that you might not otherwise have picked up on. It may seem as if the world is changing, and of course in a way, it is. But what is really happening is that you are now attracted to the things that are consistent with your goals. Not the other way around.

To me, that is the real secret. And it is the reason that when you know what you want and focus on it, it is much more likely to happen.

Jeff

The Work of Work

"There's a reason they call it work."

I've been blessed to work with people I mostly like, doing work that I mostly think is important and good. And to make a good living while doing it. Not everyone is so lucky. I know a lot of lawyers and consultants, for example, who work constantly. They work in a business model that pays for volume, and they deliver that volume, knowing that if they do not there is someone else who will.

So they contine to crank out the hours to pay the mortgages that they should not have taken out, on houses that are now worth less than they paid for them. I think this just is a more dramatic version of what many others are feeling. That they have to crank out the hours and produce or they will be casualties, too, like their neighbor was last week or last month.

This has been a tough time for those who were once at or near the top of the food chain. I think many of us (and I include myself) are questioning whether it is as important as we once thought it was to live in a big house in a great location, drive a late model luxary sedan, and send our kids to prestigious schools.

I know there are plenty of times that I long for a simpler life. I just don't know how to get there.

The truth is that my training is for fairly high stress jobs in health care. Thankfully I am good at it and enjoy it. But I do wonder from time to time if my "calling" is as important as I once thought it was. And I worry that the adrenaline high might not be as satisfying as more subtle pursuits.

I wonder if my thoughts of getting ahead, of leading others, of being "outstanding," whatever that means, are as important as the simple satisfaction of meaningful human interaction.

I don't know the answer to any of these questions. When I asked my teacher, Peter Fenner, about what was next for me, he said in his Zen-like way, something utterly simple and profound.

"It's not obvious right now. At some point, it will be. And you'll do that."

I see an intent to simplify, and I don't quite know what that looks like yet. In the meantime, my task seems to be finding more meaning, and satisfaction, in the simple moments of each day. Wherever I happen to find them.

Jeff

Stuck at the Airport

I find that traffic jams can be a great opportunity to practice acceptance.

Airports are a close second.

As I write this, I am waiting for my flight back home from an all day meeting at corporate headquarters. It's been delayed about three hours, which will have me getting home at about 1:00 am.

It can be easy to think that things should be different. That there is someone at fault, somewhere to direct anger or frustration. I find myself trying to avoid the delay or lessen it. Maybe an earlier flight is still on the ground, or there is a way to connect through another city. For whatever reason, it feels like torture to sit in an airport for an extra hour or two. We want to be on the go. In constant motion. Making progress, whatever that means.

But a delay can be a nice chance to slow down. To sit. To read a good book. To accept what is happening, rather than fight it.

I often take a delay as a chance to catch up on email, or make phone calls, or to walk around or eat. But the chance to sit, to breathe? I find myself running away from that.

Jeff

Just to Be

"Just to be alive is enough."

- Shunryu Suzuki -

Awhile back I found myself writing the following on a piece of paper--

"It is only in the systematic unpacking of ourselves that we find the freedom to simply be."

I don't know if it is true for everyone. But it seems to be true for me. Those moments of clarity that come from time to time seem to be about less rather than more.

The unpacked bag is empty. The more we remove, the more we can see the nothing that is left. The open space of being. In this space is freedom.

Jeff

Back to This

"People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."


~Albert Einstein~

In each moment, we have an opportunity to stay or go.

If we stay, if we stay right here, we can see that there is no way to be outside this moment. That there never was anything else. In this constant now there are no problems, and there is no past or future. There is only this, our unnameable existence. Life itself.

If we go (and let's face it, we often do), our thoughts recreate a past and project a future. There is worry and strife. We compare where we are with where we would like to be or where we could have been. This is the human habit--to create a world of struggling and strife through thoughts.

Viewed another way, though, there is no difference between staying and going. We are always present to something, even if it is usually just our own thoughts and projections. Whatever we are present to, in this moment, is our world. No matter how restricted, or unlimited.

Jeff

Have an Average Day!

I saw that today, June 22, has been declared "Have an Average Day" Day and it put a smile on my face.

Two interesting things about this--

First, we put so much pressure on ourselves. Work can feel like a sprint, where we never catch our breaths. So much of the world of Blackberries and Starbucks and constant access can make us feel like we need to be moving 24/7. Even to step back to "average" can feel like a huge relief.

But second might be more interesting. When we commit to slow progress, we actually can do extraordinary things. As the site explains, we can have the time to write a book, or get to know our children. We can connect with people. We can live and feel alive. We can share joy. And regardless of what we end up doing, we can find so much more meaning in our being.

So with that spirit in mind, may this day be an average one. And may it be the first of many more.

Jeff

Being Right

There's an old saying that asks if you would rather be right or happy. I've had two email exchanges in the last two days that were really effective at pointing out what I've been choosing.

In each, I took a pretty strong position. One was related to my personal life, and one was at work.

And when my view was questioned (in each case, rather strongly), I felt myself clench up. I was angry. I immediately wanted to defend myself and show why I was RIGHT and the other person was WRONG! But of course we all bring our own views and biases and triggers to each situation. I can read an email in a haze of emotion and adrenaline and have one reaction, and read it ten minutes later and come to a completely different conclusion. What is that about?

I don't have an answer. I suspect it is just part of an instinctive defending of a self, even as the sense of that self gets more murky. But part of this path, it seems, is noticing those vulnerabilities, those times when we are less likely to have a clear response to something. And waiting a few minutes, or a few days, to send an email response (for example) when we feel like that.

I'd rather be happy. But I don't always act that way.

Jeff

P.S. This is my one hundredth entry in The Corporate Zendo. Thanks for your encouraging words and suggestions.

I still don't know what this really is. Sometimes, it feels like it's a lecture, sometimes, an advice column, and sometimes, a confessional. But if you know someone who might find it useful, please forward the following link:

http://corporatezendo.blogspot.com/

Thanks!