Look for future entries of The Corporate Zendo here.
And make sure that you check out the whole site--there's a lot to look at--an e-guide, video, and more--
Jeff Munn Coaching.
Thanks for a great twenty months here. More to come at the new site...
Jeff
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Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
A Reminder, and Some New Developments
When I left on vacation at the beginning of July, I said there would be some changes coming to The Corporate Zendo. And those changes continue to happen, both to the blog and the work that I'm doing.
Here's a brief update and (first) a reminder--
Meditation for Busy People
For those of you in the DC area, I will be offering a two hour workshop on bringing moments of meditation, of presence, into daily life on September 17 from 2-4 pm. Whether you work in an office or out of you home, there are times when it seems there's simply too much going on to handle. And we can get overwhelmed when we don't know what to do next.
The brain needs renewal to be at its most effective, but luckily, renewal can be a simple matter. The Meditation for Busy People workshop will talk about that renewal process as well as how and when to use it.
You can read more about the session and logistics here. If you want to come, please let me know on Facebook here.
New Website and Coaching Business
I'm in the midst of putting up a new website at jeffmunncoaching.com. The website won't have a lot of content at first, but I will be working to add content quickly. Once the new site is up, new postings on The Corporate Zendo will go up on that site, along with links to some greatest hits. I'm getting more and more familiar with WordPress, but I have a lot to learn!
I expect to continue to write in The Corporate Zendo roughly once a week and to use Facebook and Twitter to provide other information. I confess I don't have everything figured out yet--it's possible that the name and focus of each (The Corporate Zendo Facebook Page and LeaderZen Twitter feed) will change a bit.
I'll let you know when the new site is up and running, which I hope will be in a few days. Going forward, the best way to stay in touch will be through a subscription form on the website. I hope you'll continue to support me by subscribing!
As you'll see from the website, the focus of my coaching will be on stress management, at least at first (especially for lawyers and other professionals). But I'll also be taking a transformative view of both the client and the coaching relationship. I'll be talking about what that means through materials on the site and some free calls in the coming months.
I'm thrilled to be able to take the blog and this work to another level, and look forward to continuing to
support you.
Thank you!
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward through email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
Here's a brief update and (first) a reminder--
Meditation for Busy People
For those of you in the DC area, I will be offering a two hour workshop on bringing moments of meditation, of presence, into daily life on September 17 from 2-4 pm. Whether you work in an office or out of you home, there are times when it seems there's simply too much going on to handle. And we can get overwhelmed when we don't know what to do next.
The brain needs renewal to be at its most effective, but luckily, renewal can be a simple matter. The Meditation for Busy People workshop will talk about that renewal process as well as how and when to use it.
You can read more about the session and logistics here. If you want to come, please let me know on Facebook here.
New Website and Coaching Business
I'm in the midst of putting up a new website at jeffmunncoaching.com. The website won't have a lot of content at first, but I will be working to add content quickly. Once the new site is up, new postings on The Corporate Zendo will go up on that site, along with links to some greatest hits. I'm getting more and more familiar with WordPress, but I have a lot to learn!
I expect to continue to write in The Corporate Zendo roughly once a week and to use Facebook and Twitter to provide other information. I confess I don't have everything figured out yet--it's possible that the name and focus of each (The Corporate Zendo Facebook Page and LeaderZen Twitter feed) will change a bit.
I'll let you know when the new site is up and running, which I hope will be in a few days. Going forward, the best way to stay in touch will be through a subscription form on the website. I hope you'll continue to support me by subscribing!
As you'll see from the website, the focus of my coaching will be on stress management, at least at first (especially for lawyers and other professionals). But I'll also be taking a transformative view of both the client and the coaching relationship. I'll be talking about what that means through materials on the site and some free calls in the coming months.
I'm thrilled to be able to take the blog and this work to another level, and look forward to continuing to
support you.
Thank you!
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward through email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
A Radical Thought for Stressed Out Lawyers (and Other Professionals)
I'm a recovering lawyer.
That line usually gets a laugh, but I'm perfectly serious when I say it. Because so much about the legal profession is about win lose, about competition, about doing more and more and not seeing an end to that. It has taken me a lot of years to learn that there is a different way. And I still find myself tossed back into that win lose way of thinking from time to time.
Many years ago, new lawyers joined a firm knowing that for a few years they would work pretty hard. And then they would become a partner, reaping the rewards of that work while regaining a sense of balance and meaning in their work.
That time is long gone. There is always more work to do. There is always more business to develop, no matter where you are in your career. And if you have a bad year in a bad economy you have to worry about not just your job, but even if your firm is going to make it.
There have been times when my lawyer friends lose sleep, lose hair, lose connection to their friends and loved ones because of the incredible demands of the profession.
I've lived it. I've been in that environment, where I saw that the only way for me to advance was to work harder, to bill more, to give up more and more of my evenings and weekends getting things done. And while I was cranking out hours and giving up my life, I was watching my work quality decline (another source of stress!) while recognizing the whole set up wasn't about meaning or mastery or feeling good about how my career was coming along.
It was about money.
So here's my radical thought--
All that pressure you feel, all that stress about measuring up, about making it, about getting further down the legal path, and even about what house you're going to buy and where you're going to send your kids to school when you make partner, is just a bunch of thoughts.
Your thoughts. Your thoughts about what you want and what other people want for you and from you.
And just like you can change your habits, you can, with some effort, change your thoughts.
The first step is to stop regularly, if only for a few moments, to notice what you are thinking and what impact it has on you. How your thinking makes you feel.
Just that noticing, done regularly, can completely change your life.
Jeff
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That line usually gets a laugh, but I'm perfectly serious when I say it. Because so much about the legal profession is about win lose, about competition, about doing more and more and not seeing an end to that. It has taken me a lot of years to learn that there is a different way. And I still find myself tossed back into that win lose way of thinking from time to time.
Many years ago, new lawyers joined a firm knowing that for a few years they would work pretty hard. And then they would become a partner, reaping the rewards of that work while regaining a sense of balance and meaning in their work.
That time is long gone. There is always more work to do. There is always more business to develop, no matter where you are in your career. And if you have a bad year in a bad economy you have to worry about not just your job, but even if your firm is going to make it.
There have been times when my lawyer friends lose sleep, lose hair, lose connection to their friends and loved ones because of the incredible demands of the profession.
I've lived it. I've been in that environment, where I saw that the only way for me to advance was to work harder, to bill more, to give up more and more of my evenings and weekends getting things done. And while I was cranking out hours and giving up my life, I was watching my work quality decline (another source of stress!) while recognizing the whole set up wasn't about meaning or mastery or feeling good about how my career was coming along.
It was about money.
So here's my radical thought--
All that pressure you feel, all that stress about measuring up, about making it, about getting further down the legal path, and even about what house you're going to buy and where you're going to send your kids to school when you make partner, is just a bunch of thoughts.
Your thoughts. Your thoughts about what you want and what other people want for you and from you.
And just like you can change your habits, you can, with some effort, change your thoughts.
The first step is to stop regularly, if only for a few moments, to notice what you are thinking and what impact it has on you. How your thinking makes you feel.
Just that noticing, done regularly, can completely change your life.
Jeff
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Thursday, August 18, 2011
It's Time for Radical Honesty
I was talking with a friend about leadership. We've had the same experience at a few different places--
Leadership that wants to appear forthcoming, but still holds back.
An in group that knows what's really going on, but doesn't want to acknowledge it.
Organizations that are limited because the information people have, and their power to act on it, is limited.
People, companies, and governments that consistently disappoint.
I think it's time for a change, a time for radical honesty.
It's time to share as much as we possibly can within the bounds of the law and ethics.
It's time to never, ever, ever, make things seem better, or worse, than they really are.
It's time to communicate and act from a grounding of trust and love for each other, stakeholders, and the community. To be honest and respectful in all our dealings with each other. And to work to make all better off.
I recognize that people may ridicule the idea of love in the workplace or in society in general, but what's the alternative? We've just come through one of the most frightening financial scares since the Great Depression, and we could be on the verge of another one. Companies have toed the line of legality and propriety while actively courting customers (borrowers) who were not qualified. Governments have mortgaged our future. Ponzi schemes, whether going by the name Bernie Madoff or Enron or Medicare, abound.
It's time to return to a simple standard. Tell everyone exactly what we are doing and why. And let us be praised or scorned on that basis.
Winston Churchill once said that Americans can be counted on to do the right thing, once they've tried everything else. Feels like that time is now.
Interested in your thoughts.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
Leadership that wants to appear forthcoming, but still holds back.
An in group that knows what's really going on, but doesn't want to acknowledge it.
Organizations that are limited because the information people have, and their power to act on it, is limited.
People, companies, and governments that consistently disappoint.
I think it's time for a change, a time for radical honesty.
It's time to share as much as we possibly can within the bounds of the law and ethics.
It's time to never, ever, ever, make things seem better, or worse, than they really are.
It's time to communicate and act from a grounding of trust and love for each other, stakeholders, and the community. To be honest and respectful in all our dealings with each other. And to work to make all better off.
I recognize that people may ridicule the idea of love in the workplace or in society in general, but what's the alternative? We've just come through one of the most frightening financial scares since the Great Depression, and we could be on the verge of another one. Companies have toed the line of legality and propriety while actively courting customers (borrowers) who were not qualified. Governments have mortgaged our future. Ponzi schemes, whether going by the name Bernie Madoff or Enron or Medicare, abound.
It's time to return to a simple standard. Tell everyone exactly what we are doing and why. And let us be praised or scorned on that basis.
Winston Churchill once said that Americans can be counted on to do the right thing, once they've tried everything else. Feels like that time is now.
Interested in your thoughts.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
My Upcoming Workshop on September 17
I know a lot of people who have started meditation, or been interested in starting meditation, and after a few sessions (or even no sessions at all), they give up. Maybe they understand the benefits that meditation can bring, but two persistent beliefs about meditation often get in the way.
The first is that meditation takes a long time.
The second is that meditation is hard.
Suppose we taught kids to ride bikes the way we teach adults to meditate. First off, forget helmets or training wheels. Get on the bike and try to ride it. Do that for twenty minutes. Or thirty. Don't worry of you fall--just get back up and try again. If you fall fifty times in twenty minutes, that's okay. Eventually, you'll fall less.
How many of us would make it past the first session.
That's basically what most meditation techniques are about--put in the time, don't worry if it's unpleasant, and eventually it will feel good.
I designed a workshop to do things differently.
We're going to learn and practice easy techniques that allow meditation--open, spacious, relaxed meditation--in only a minute or two. And we're going to talk about how to incorporate those techniques into a busy schedule. We'll also discuss the benefits of meditation and it and similar practices affect our brains and our response to stress. In short, why meditation is as important for our brains as exercise is for our bodies.
So if you've tried meditation and you're convinced you're bad at it, this is the class for you.
And if you'd like to meditate but you just can't find the time, this is also the class for you.
"Meditation for Busy People" is on Saturday, September 17 from 2-4 at Simon Says Yoga in Bethesda, MD.
Simon Says Yoga
4701 Sangamore Road
Suite PO21 (Second Floor)
Bethesda, MD 20816
(See directions here.)
It's only $35 in advance, $40 at the door. Please join us for two hours of exploration and fun.
The first is that meditation takes a long time.
The second is that meditation is hard.
Suppose we taught kids to ride bikes the way we teach adults to meditate. First off, forget helmets or training wheels. Get on the bike and try to ride it. Do that for twenty minutes. Or thirty. Don't worry of you fall--just get back up and try again. If you fall fifty times in twenty minutes, that's okay. Eventually, you'll fall less.
How many of us would make it past the first session.
That's basically what most meditation techniques are about--put in the time, don't worry if it's unpleasant, and eventually it will feel good.
I designed a workshop to do things differently.
We're going to learn and practice easy techniques that allow meditation--open, spacious, relaxed meditation--in only a minute or two. And we're going to talk about how to incorporate those techniques into a busy schedule. We'll also discuss the benefits of meditation and it and similar practices affect our brains and our response to stress. In short, why meditation is as important for our brains as exercise is for our bodies.
So if you've tried meditation and you're convinced you're bad at it, this is the class for you.
And if you'd like to meditate but you just can't find the time, this is also the class for you.
"Meditation for Busy People" is on Saturday, September 17 from 2-4 at Simon Says Yoga in Bethesda, MD.
Simon Says Yoga
4701 Sangamore Road
Suite PO21 (Second Floor)
Bethesda, MD 20816
(See directions here.)
It's only $35 in advance, $40 at the door. Please join us for two hours of exploration and fun.
Jeff
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Friday, August 5, 2011
The Folly of Making Plans
I spend a lot of time making plans. Thinking about the future. Thinking that if I do things just right, I can control what's going to happen and fashion the life that I want.
As John Lennon alluded to ("Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"), there are a couple major flaws in this reasoning.
First is the assumption that I can control things. I spend a lot of time making plans that do not come to fruition. I know there's a school of thought that says what we think about is what comes to pass, but I just don't see that in my life. I'll see something I like or think about a new city or a new title and really enjoy myself while building an imaginary scenario of what that might be like and how it would be better than what I have now. But chances are those things are not going to happen. Something completely different is going to happen. And often I'm not prepared for that, good or bad.
Second is that I know what's best for me. I might know what I want in a given moment, but it's pretty clear to me that what I want is not always what is best for me. I'd eat a lot less ice cream if that were the case! The notion that I have enough intelligence to choose what is best for me is a joke. The experiences where I've learned the most are those that have been most difficult, painful, even traumatic. And yet I'm pretty confident that I would not choose those experiences for me in advance. I'd rather have a convertible, or the other trappings of the good life, than the difficulties that seem to make for the grist of true, transformational learning. But life seems to have its own intelligence, presenting me with whatever is needed at the time. I have learned tremendously from that, but didn't plan any of it.
Planning is hard to let go of. And yet when I think about it for more than a few seconds, I see very clearly that planning and life are not very closely related. Sure, there are some things that we can do that might change our future. But often these things, like going to school or taking up running, are about building habits, not about planning.
What's left without planning? Waiting? Doing? Being?
Probably a bit of all three. But it's surprising to me how much space emerges when, even for a little bit, I can let go of my habit of planning.
Jeff
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As John Lennon alluded to ("Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"), there are a couple major flaws in this reasoning.
First is the assumption that I can control things. I spend a lot of time making plans that do not come to fruition. I know there's a school of thought that says what we think about is what comes to pass, but I just don't see that in my life. I'll see something I like or think about a new city or a new title and really enjoy myself while building an imaginary scenario of what that might be like and how it would be better than what I have now. But chances are those things are not going to happen. Something completely different is going to happen. And often I'm not prepared for that, good or bad.
Second is that I know what's best for me. I might know what I want in a given moment, but it's pretty clear to me that what I want is not always what is best for me. I'd eat a lot less ice cream if that were the case! The notion that I have enough intelligence to choose what is best for me is a joke. The experiences where I've learned the most are those that have been most difficult, painful, even traumatic. And yet I'm pretty confident that I would not choose those experiences for me in advance. I'd rather have a convertible, or the other trappings of the good life, than the difficulties that seem to make for the grist of true, transformational learning. But life seems to have its own intelligence, presenting me with whatever is needed at the time. I have learned tremendously from that, but didn't plan any of it.
Planning is hard to let go of. And yet when I think about it for more than a few seconds, I see very clearly that planning and life are not very closely related. Sure, there are some things that we can do that might change our future. But often these things, like going to school or taking up running, are about building habits, not about planning.
What's left without planning? Waiting? Doing? Being?
Probably a bit of all three. But it's surprising to me how much space emerges when, even for a little bit, I can let go of my habit of planning.
Jeff
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Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Joy of Contribution
Why do you go to work in the morning? Why do you do what you do?
Most everyone has heard of the story of the three bricklayers. There are a lot of different versions, but the essence is this.
A man is walking through a town and comes across three bricklayers working at a construction site. He asks each of them what they are doing.
The first one says, "I am laying bricks." He even seems a bit miffed at the absurdity of the question.
The second one says, "I am building a wall."
The third one looks up with a smile on his face and says "I am building a cathedral."
I've often seen this story used to support the importance of understanding the big picture. But I think something more profound is going on here. As Dan Pink and others point out, one of the things that really fuels us is a sense of contributing to something bigger than ourselves. A mission. A purpose.
We all want to do good in the world. And yet our day-to-day work lives can sometimes feel like they beat the very life from us.
But so much of that is just our own thoughts about what is happening. About who is doing what to whom and why we think things should be different.
There's a couple of things to notice about thoughts. First, they are always changing, and sometimes you don't have them at all. Practices like meditation and yoga are to some extent about noticing when you have no thoughts, and creating more of those spacious, healing moments.
The second thing is that some thoughts serve you better than others.
It can be tempting to think about all the bad things that are going on at work and focus on all the ways that you would change things if only someone would give you permission. But think back to the excitement you felt when you started your job. I bet there was some greater good in the world that was part of the attraction.
Maybe you're like me and you want to make better health care available to more people. Maybe you want to share knowledge or beauty. Maybe you want to show people how they can lead from within.
Take a few moments each day and remind yourself why the bad stuff is worth it. And notice how your attitude and effectiveness change when you do.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Twitter, or Facebook, using the buttons below.
Most everyone has heard of the story of the three bricklayers. There are a lot of different versions, but the essence is this.
A man is walking through a town and comes across three bricklayers working at a construction site. He asks each of them what they are doing.
The first one says, "I am laying bricks." He even seems a bit miffed at the absurdity of the question.
The second one says, "I am building a wall."
The third one looks up with a smile on his face and says "I am building a cathedral."
I've often seen this story used to support the importance of understanding the big picture. But I think something more profound is going on here. As Dan Pink and others point out, one of the things that really fuels us is a sense of contributing to something bigger than ourselves. A mission. A purpose.
We all want to do good in the world. And yet our day-to-day work lives can sometimes feel like they beat the very life from us.
But so much of that is just our own thoughts about what is happening. About who is doing what to whom and why we think things should be different.
There's a couple of things to notice about thoughts. First, they are always changing, and sometimes you don't have them at all. Practices like meditation and yoga are to some extent about noticing when you have no thoughts, and creating more of those spacious, healing moments.
The second thing is that some thoughts serve you better than others.
It can be tempting to think about all the bad things that are going on at work and focus on all the ways that you would change things if only someone would give you permission. But think back to the excitement you felt when you started your job. I bet there was some greater good in the world that was part of the attraction.
Maybe you're like me and you want to make better health care available to more people. Maybe you want to share knowledge or beauty. Maybe you want to show people how they can lead from within.
Take a few moments each day and remind yourself why the bad stuff is worth it. And notice how your attitude and effectiveness change when you do.
Jeff
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Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Bodhisattva Ideal at Work
This is my first post in what I suspect will be a much less regular schedule of writing on The Corporate Zendo.
I'll talk about my new thinking for the blog and Facebook page in upcoming posts, but I want first to talk about something that is very important to me.
For the last hundred years or so, we in America have been operating under some assumptions that I think are just wrong--
That more is better, especially when it comes to money and possessions.
That success is about material things.
That there is a set of external circumstances and possessions that can produce lasting happiness.
That work, as currently constructed, is a vehicle for personal fulfillment.
If, as the Dalai Lama says, the purpose of life is happiness, we're doing a pretty shabby job. We may have more stuff, but it feels like we have given our time and health and happiness in return.
I think there's a better way. And I'd like your help.
In Buddhism, the bodhisattva is one who is dedicated to freedom and happiness for all beings. The bodhisattva even delays his own enlightenment so that others may be enlightened first. I think we need to think of ourselves as bodhisattvas at work, dedicated to freedom not only for our coworkers, but also for our employers.
Instead of spending hours of face time with nothing to show for it, we need to show how less time at work can make us more effective.
Instead of operating out of fear, we need to spread love.
Instead of defending and protecting, we need to be open and vulnerable.
Instead of dedicating ourselves and our companies to the pursuit of the mighty dollar, we need to find and work at companies that have a mission to do good, or create beauty, or provide knowledge in the world. And be confident that in doing those things, we will have more than enough.
If this is a mission that you believe in as much as I do, please spread the word. I want to build a movement. I want to change the world of work, and I passionately believe we can and must.
In building this movement, we can show more and more employees that it is possible to be happy and fulfilled at work, and more and more companies that some of the best employees want nothing less than an employer who will challenge them, and enable them, to do their very best.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
I'll talk about my new thinking for the blog and Facebook page in upcoming posts, but I want first to talk about something that is very important to me.
For the last hundred years or so, we in America have been operating under some assumptions that I think are just wrong--
That more is better, especially when it comes to money and possessions.
That success is about material things.
That there is a set of external circumstances and possessions that can produce lasting happiness.
That work, as currently constructed, is a vehicle for personal fulfillment.
If, as the Dalai Lama says, the purpose of life is happiness, we're doing a pretty shabby job. We may have more stuff, but it feels like we have given our time and health and happiness in return.
I think there's a better way. And I'd like your help.
In Buddhism, the bodhisattva is one who is dedicated to freedom and happiness for all beings. The bodhisattva even delays his own enlightenment so that others may be enlightened first. I think we need to think of ourselves as bodhisattvas at work, dedicated to freedom not only for our coworkers, but also for our employers.
Instead of spending hours of face time with nothing to show for it, we need to show how less time at work can make us more effective.
Instead of operating out of fear, we need to spread love.
Instead of defending and protecting, we need to be open and vulnerable.
Instead of dedicating ourselves and our companies to the pursuit of the mighty dollar, we need to find and work at companies that have a mission to do good, or create beauty, or provide knowledge in the world. And be confident that in doing those things, we will have more than enough.
If this is a mission that you believe in as much as I do, please spread the word. I want to build a movement. I want to change the world of work, and I passionately believe we can and must.
In building this movement, we can show more and more employees that it is possible to be happy and fulfilled at work, and more and more companies that some of the best employees want nothing less than an employer who will challenge them, and enable them, to do their very best.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Resting and Recharging
This is going to be my last post for awhile. I'm taking a two week vacation with my family--no posts, no links to past posts, no Facebook, no Twitter. I'm also in a process of evaluating what's next for me, for this work, and for the blog. I suspect that means that I will be blogging less and exploring how to expand this community and this message in other ways.
I'd love to hear your ideas. I passionately believe not only that we can be happy at work, but that we are also more productive, creative, and connected when we are happy. To me, we can't keep working more and think that we're going to get more done in our sleep-deprived, fear-driven, caffeinated haze. At least not much of value. And while our employers are starting to figure that out, most are still stuck in thinking in the old ways, with the misguided perception that more is always better.
So if you think as I do, that our way of working needs a major makeover, and that everyone will benefit if it does, please pass this along, and send me any ideas that you have for growing this movement.
Thanks as always for reading the blog, and I'll see you in a few weeks.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
I'd love to hear your ideas. I passionately believe not only that we can be happy at work, but that we are also more productive, creative, and connected when we are happy. To me, we can't keep working more and think that we're going to get more done in our sleep-deprived, fear-driven, caffeinated haze. At least not much of value. And while our employers are starting to figure that out, most are still stuck in thinking in the old ways, with the misguided perception that more is always better.
So if you think as I do, that our way of working needs a major makeover, and that everyone will benefit if it does, please pass this along, and send me any ideas that you have for growing this movement.
Thanks as always for reading the blog, and I'll see you in a few weeks.
Jeff
If you like this post, please forward by email, Facebook, or Twitter, using the buttons below.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Just Noticing, Part 4
This will be my last post on Just Noticing. I've been talking a lot about noticing your thoughts in different contexts. I know it is helpful for me to look at my reactions to people, my thoughts about myself, messages that we get from others and my thoughts about those messages.
And of course, we can also notice our thoughts at and about work. If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to take some time to do that.
Today, though, we're going to notice something different. Something that actually isn't there.
I want you to notice, to find, where all those thoughts are coming from. The silence from which everything emerges.
This noticing is a lifelong practice in some wisdom traditions. Some spend years in retreat meditating on it.
But it can be powerful event to notice this for one breath. It can give us a sense of peace, and of calm. In the midst of turbulence, this silence, this space, is always available to us. This is the place where, moment by moment, our world is created. And many have said that to rest in it is the ultimate healing.
Jeff
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Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Just Noticing, Part 3
On Monday, we took a look at the thoughts we have about other people.
On Tuesday, we took a look at the thoughts we have about ourselves.
Today, notice all the messages that you get--through advertising, the Internet, the news media, and so on.
Some of those messages might be that one political party is good and another is bad. Or that you could be happier if you only purchased a certain brand of toothpaste or watch a particular TV show. Or that certain body types are more desirable than others, or certain lifestyles are better than others, or certain types of education or reading material or careers.
These messages might be a bit more subtle than the ones from the last couple of days, because you are not necessarily looking just at your thoughts. But notice that these messages turn into thoughts, which are followed by your reactions (also in the form of thoughts) Notice that your thoughts about the messages are probably different than the messages themselves.
You don't need to analyze this or make it overly complicated. Instead, just notice the messages and your reaction to them.
For example, when I'm at the mall, I notice there are a lot of very glamorous people in ads that have beautiful things. I notice a sense in me that I don't have these things, that something might be missing in my life, that I might be a more desirable person if I did have these things. Then I also notice a questioning in myself. Is that really true? Can I be a better person based on the things that I have?
What do you notice?
More tomorrow.
Jeff
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On Tuesday, we took a look at the thoughts we have about ourselves.
Today, notice all the messages that you get--through advertising, the Internet, the news media, and so on.
Some of those messages might be that one political party is good and another is bad. Or that you could be happier if you only purchased a certain brand of toothpaste or watch a particular TV show. Or that certain body types are more desirable than others, or certain lifestyles are better than others, or certain types of education or reading material or careers.
These messages might be a bit more subtle than the ones from the last couple of days, because you are not necessarily looking just at your thoughts. But notice that these messages turn into thoughts, which are followed by your reactions (also in the form of thoughts) Notice that your thoughts about the messages are probably different than the messages themselves.
You don't need to analyze this or make it overly complicated. Instead, just notice the messages and your reaction to them.
For example, when I'm at the mall, I notice there are a lot of very glamorous people in ads that have beautiful things. I notice a sense in me that I don't have these things, that something might be missing in my life, that I might be a more desirable person if I did have these things. Then I also notice a questioning in myself. Is that really true? Can I be a better person based on the things that I have?
What do you notice?
More tomorrow.
Jeff
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Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Just Noticing, Part 2
Today's experiment is similar to yesterday's.
Today, though, I want you to go to a quiet place, away from other people. Get comfortable, in a chair or on the floor. Whatever works.
For a few minutes, I want you to notice what you're thinking about, especially if it's a thought about you. Notice the stories that you are telling yourself.
Maybe you're thinking back about all the great things you've done. Maybe you're feeling good. Or maybe you're being judgmental of yourself.
I tend to think about things that I'm afraid to do. Or things I wish I could have done differently.
I think most of us tend to be pretty hard on ourselves. Harder, maybe, than we are on other people.
So here's the second part of today's experiment.
Whatever it is that you are afraid of, or that you regret, I want you to imagine that your best friend came to you and told you that he or she is dealing with the issue. This issue is now your best friend's, not yours.
And I want you to think about how you would be with your friend. The love, the caring, the understanding you would have. And now I want you to talk to yourself with the same caring and compassion, the same open gentle heart, that you would use with your best friend.
How does that feel? Can you be a little bit more kind with yourself? Can you forgive?
Can you, just for a moment, act as if you are your own best friend?
Try it and see.
Jeff
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Today, though, I want you to go to a quiet place, away from other people. Get comfortable, in a chair or on the floor. Whatever works.
For a few minutes, I want you to notice what you're thinking about, especially if it's a thought about you. Notice the stories that you are telling yourself.
Maybe you're thinking back about all the great things you've done. Maybe you're feeling good. Or maybe you're being judgmental of yourself.
I tend to think about things that I'm afraid to do. Or things I wish I could have done differently.
I think most of us tend to be pretty hard on ourselves. Harder, maybe, than we are on other people.
So here's the second part of today's experiment.
Whatever it is that you are afraid of, or that you regret, I want you to imagine that your best friend came to you and told you that he or she is dealing with the issue. This issue is now your best friend's, not yours.
And I want you to think about how you would be with your friend. The love, the caring, the understanding you would have. And now I want you to talk to yourself with the same caring and compassion, the same open gentle heart, that you would use with your best friend.
How does that feel? Can you be a little bit more kind with yourself? Can you forgive?
Can you, just for a moment, act as if you are your own best friend?
Try it and see.
Jeff
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Monday, June 27, 2011
Just Noticing, Part 1
Here's an experiment you can try for a few minutes.
Go to a public place. A mall, a bookstore, a restaurant. Someplace with a lot of strangers.
Then walk or sit and people watch. Don't stare--we're not trying to get in a fight or creep anyone out. But I want you to notice the thoughts that pop into your head about each person you see.
When I do this, I notice how quickly I form conclusions about people. How quickly I assume that someone is nice, or a jerk. I sometimes write a story about them on the spot. Where they live, where they work. Whether their kids like them, whether they're a jerk in the office.
We do this all the time. This is what human brains do. They try to make sense of the world. They build models and draw conclusions.
But I have to ask myself, is this prejudice (which literally means means prejudgment) actually helpful?
I notice I even have a reaction to the label "prejudice."
I'm not sure that we can wire our brains to be different. But, as this exercise shows, we can at least notice how often we do it. And, once we are conscious of it, we can choose to give less weight to it.
Maybe the person who rushed past me is dealing with a sick relative. Maybe the person who glared at me just got off a difficult phone call.
Maybe, just like me, and just like you, everyone is trying to do their best. In each and every moment.
Jeff
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Go to a public place. A mall, a bookstore, a restaurant. Someplace with a lot of strangers.
Then walk or sit and people watch. Don't stare--we're not trying to get in a fight or creep anyone out. But I want you to notice the thoughts that pop into your head about each person you see.
When I do this, I notice how quickly I form conclusions about people. How quickly I assume that someone is nice, or a jerk. I sometimes write a story about them on the spot. Where they live, where they work. Whether their kids like them, whether they're a jerk in the office.
We do this all the time. This is what human brains do. They try to make sense of the world. They build models and draw conclusions.
But I have to ask myself, is this prejudice (which literally means means prejudgment) actually helpful?
I notice I even have a reaction to the label "prejudice."
I'm not sure that we can wire our brains to be different. But, as this exercise shows, we can at least notice how often we do it. And, once we are conscious of it, we can choose to give less weight to it.
Maybe the person who rushed past me is dealing with a sick relative. Maybe the person who glared at me just got off a difficult phone call.
Maybe, just like me, and just like you, everyone is trying to do their best. In each and every moment.
Jeff
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Friday, June 24, 2011
Am I Really Too Busy?
The number one complaint I get from corporate types is that they're too busy. And it's true that we seem to be busier these days. And more stressed.
But I wonder if the issue isn't really that we're more distracted, not more busy. We have plenty to do, but there's also a lot that's competing for our attention.
You're reading a blog right now (and I thank you for that). But how many blogs do you read? How much time do you spend on email? Facebook? Twitter? How much time surfing the net? IMimg? And that's just online. What about reality TV, video games, trashy magazines? All the things you do at home to just zone out?
And don't forget my favorite, the time we spend complaining about how busy we are!
My experience is that when I say I'm too busy, I often mean something else. Here are three possibilities that resonate with me.
1. Lack of focus. It can be hard to stay focused, and it's natural to want to take breaks. Trouble is that with all the distractions around us, a short break can quickly turn into an hour.
2. Lack of enjoyment. Sometimes, we enjoy the distractions more than we enjoy our work. I find myself completely zoning out on conference calls, comforted by what I can find online. And yes, distractions can include the support and attention that we get from others when we complain about how busy we are.
3. Lack of energy. Maybe we're not taking care of ourselves. If we don't get enough sleep or exercise, we can drag through the day. I know if I've not slept, my work day isn't about enjoyment, it's about survival.
When I feel a bit overwhelmed, typically one or more of these three things is going on. How about you?
Jeff
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But I wonder if the issue isn't really that we're more distracted, not more busy. We have plenty to do, but there's also a lot that's competing for our attention.
You're reading a blog right now (and I thank you for that). But how many blogs do you read? How much time do you spend on email? Facebook? Twitter? How much time surfing the net? IMimg? And that's just online. What about reality TV, video games, trashy magazines? All the things you do at home to just zone out?
And don't forget my favorite, the time we spend complaining about how busy we are!
My experience is that when I say I'm too busy, I often mean something else. Here are three possibilities that resonate with me.
1. Lack of focus. It can be hard to stay focused, and it's natural to want to take breaks. Trouble is that with all the distractions around us, a short break can quickly turn into an hour.
2. Lack of enjoyment. Sometimes, we enjoy the distractions more than we enjoy our work. I find myself completely zoning out on conference calls, comforted by what I can find online. And yes, distractions can include the support and attention that we get from others when we complain about how busy we are.
3. Lack of energy. Maybe we're not taking care of ourselves. If we don't get enough sleep or exercise, we can drag through the day. I know if I've not slept, my work day isn't about enjoyment, it's about survival.
When I feel a bit overwhelmed, typically one or more of these three things is going on. How about you?
Jeff
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Thursday, June 23, 2011
Letting Go
What if for just one day you let go of the to do list and did whatever came up for you?
What if for just one day you dropped your "shoulds"?
What if for just one day, or one hour, or one moment, you let whatever was happening happen? With no need to control and no need for a particular result?
Would you do nothing?
Would you try something new? Or something you have been afraid of?
Is there any way to know what you would do without actually doing it?
Try it for a day, or an hour, or ten minutes.
And see if you can view whatever happens as exactly what was needed.
Jeff
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What if for just one day you dropped your "shoulds"?
What if for just one day, or one hour, or one moment, you let whatever was happening happen? With no need to control and no need for a particular result?
Would you do nothing?
Would you try something new? Or something you have been afraid of?
Is there any way to know what you would do without actually doing it?
Try it for a day, or an hour, or ten minutes.
And see if you can view whatever happens as exactly what was needed.
Jeff
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Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Brain Training
It's only been relatively recently that we've realized that physical exercise was of benefit to us.
It's pretty common to hear that someone is going to the club or gym to work out, or going to play tennis or basketball, for example. People walk or run and part of the reason that they do this is they expect some kind of benefit from it.
What's less common is that people will have, or talk about a mental practice.
I'm not sure why. There are people who take drugs to increase their concentration, for example, or to feel less depressed, but the idea that their is "brain exercise" or that there is a need for such exercise does not seem all that widespread.
And yet the benefits of even a simple and brief meditation practice are well-documented and undeniable. We can be calmer, with greater concentration and creatively. We can be less reactive and more kind. We can have more mental endurance. Our immune system function is enhanced and blood pressure is lowered. We experience less reactivity.
And the first step is just to notice what's happening. What's happening right now? What are your thoughts telling you? And how much of it is actually true? Do that a few minutes each day and you have a proven practice for training your brain.
Someday, maybe soon, "What kind of meditation do you practice?" will be just as common a question as "Where do you work out?" is today.
Jeff
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It's pretty common to hear that someone is going to the club or gym to work out, or going to play tennis or basketball, for example. People walk or run and part of the reason that they do this is they expect some kind of benefit from it.
What's less common is that people will have, or talk about a mental practice.
I'm not sure why. There are people who take drugs to increase their concentration, for example, or to feel less depressed, but the idea that their is "brain exercise" or that there is a need for such exercise does not seem all that widespread.
And yet the benefits of even a simple and brief meditation practice are well-documented and undeniable. We can be calmer, with greater concentration and creatively. We can be less reactive and more kind. We can have more mental endurance. Our immune system function is enhanced and blood pressure is lowered. We experience less reactivity.
And the first step is just to notice what's happening. What's happening right now? What are your thoughts telling you? And how much of it is actually true? Do that a few minutes each day and you have a proven practice for training your brain.
Someday, maybe soon, "What kind of meditation do you practice?" will be just as common a question as "Where do you work out?" is today.
Jeff
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Doing and Not Doing
There has been a lot written about wu wei, or "not doing," in Taoism and other Eastern traditions.
The idea is that we don't have to consciously do things, that things in fact do themselves without conscious effort on our part. That this is in fact the ideal state.
On it's face, this seems ridiculous. And the mind will not hear of it. How could we live if we did not decide what we are doing, where we are going, what we want to be in life?
That is certainly our experience most of the time.
But I wonder if it has to be this way.
Sometimes, it seems that things really do just happen. Sometimes the things that just happen, the things that happen "while we are making other plans," as John Lennon put it, are wonderful. Sometimes they are tragic. But they do happen, enough for me to think sometimes, "why bother?"
Maybe Eisenhower had it right when he said that "planning is invaluable, but plans are useless." That once one is in the heat of battle no plan will last more than a few minutes.
An analogy might be jazz. The very best jazz musicians play the same scales over and over and over again. Their preparation is legendary. And yet, in the moment of a performance, they don't know what they're going to play. They are just as surprised as we are. Many say that they are so in the moment that they don't remember what they played, and might not even recognize it when it is played back to them.
So the paradox is to be totally prepared and totally spontaneous. To simply let go in each moment, knowing that whatever happens is the only thing that could happen, given the preparation that we have done.
Life, in other words, has perfectly prepared us for this next moment. And yet, we have no idea what that moment will bring.
Jeff
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The idea is that we don't have to consciously do things, that things in fact do themselves without conscious effort on our part. That this is in fact the ideal state.
On it's face, this seems ridiculous. And the mind will not hear of it. How could we live if we did not decide what we are doing, where we are going, what we want to be in life?
That is certainly our experience most of the time.
But I wonder if it has to be this way.
Sometimes, it seems that things really do just happen. Sometimes the things that just happen, the things that happen "while we are making other plans," as John Lennon put it, are wonderful. Sometimes they are tragic. But they do happen, enough for me to think sometimes, "why bother?"
Maybe Eisenhower had it right when he said that "planning is invaluable, but plans are useless." That once one is in the heat of battle no plan will last more than a few minutes.
An analogy might be jazz. The very best jazz musicians play the same scales over and over and over again. Their preparation is legendary. And yet, in the moment of a performance, they don't know what they're going to play. They are just as surprised as we are. Many say that they are so in the moment that they don't remember what they played, and might not even recognize it when it is played back to them.
So the paradox is to be totally prepared and totally spontaneous. To simply let go in each moment, knowing that whatever happens is the only thing that could happen, given the preparation that we have done.
Life, in other words, has perfectly prepared us for this next moment. And yet, we have no idea what that moment will bring.
Jeff
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Monday, June 20, 2011
Making a Difference
I'm sometimes asked if I think meditation and my work with different spiritual teachers has made a difference in my life, and my work life in particular.
It's a difficult question to answer, because there's no real way to know for sure. But this is what I feel--
I am calmer and more focused.
I am more honest and willing to be vulnerable.
I am more aware of what's actually happening versus what's "my stuff."
And I'm less reactive when my stuff comes up. Let's face it, any time there is an emotional reaction to something, chances are there is some stuff for you in there if you look for it. If you can see that and just ride it out instead of attacking or defending, it can make a huge difference.
How does this make a difference at work? When I can set aside my worries and my agenda, I can focus on the other person. I can listen. The other person feels heard and valued. I'm worried about them rather than defending me. I can do my very best to meet their needs, to help solve their problems. And we both win when that happens.
I am sometimes selfish and unkind and gossipy. But in other moments, in moments of clarity that happen more and more, I'm able to establish connection and trust. And that changes everything.
Did those changes happen overnight? No, and in some ways I feel like they're only beginning.
Jeff
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It's a difficult question to answer, because there's no real way to know for sure. But this is what I feel--
I am calmer and more focused.
I am more honest and willing to be vulnerable.
I am more aware of what's actually happening versus what's "my stuff."
And I'm less reactive when my stuff comes up. Let's face it, any time there is an emotional reaction to something, chances are there is some stuff for you in there if you look for it. If you can see that and just ride it out instead of attacking or defending, it can make a huge difference.
How does this make a difference at work? When I can set aside my worries and my agenda, I can focus on the other person. I can listen. The other person feels heard and valued. I'm worried about them rather than defending me. I can do my very best to meet their needs, to help solve their problems. And we both win when that happens.
I am sometimes selfish and unkind and gossipy. But in other moments, in moments of clarity that happen more and more, I'm able to establish connection and trust. And that changes everything.
Did those changes happen overnight? No, and in some ways I feel like they're only beginning.
Jeff
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Friday, June 17, 2011
Just Ten Percent
Imagine you could go through your work day ten percent less stressed. Or with ten percent more time. Or ten percent more energy or focus. Do you think that could make a difference?
When I think about transformation, sometimes it seems so daunting. I automatically think it has to be some huge change to make the effort worthwhile. I think that if I do the right things, with enough effort, I can turn "always unhappy" into "always happy." Or turn from primitive ape into enlightened sage. Most of the time it doesn't seem to happen like that.
But it doesn't have to, either.
Ten percent may feel like just a little bit, but if the world was just ten percent better, I'm convinced it would be almost unrecognizable.
The truth is that any of us can remake the entire world into one that has more joy, peace and love. When I am in a cranky place, I can't believe how grumpy and vindictive everyone is. But if I'm acting from my heart, the whole world is in love. It's through our own efforts that this happens. I can't tell you how many years I waited for the difficult people in my life to change. And yet when I began to change, I see it's not them, it's just my thoughts about them that are the problem.
They're trying their best, just like me. Even a glimpse of that is transformational. And worth every effort we put into it.
Jeff
When I think about transformation, sometimes it seems so daunting. I automatically think it has to be some huge change to make the effort worthwhile. I think that if I do the right things, with enough effort, I can turn "always unhappy" into "always happy." Or turn from primitive ape into enlightened sage. Most of the time it doesn't seem to happen like that.
But it doesn't have to, either.
Ten percent may feel like just a little bit, but if the world was just ten percent better, I'm convinced it would be almost unrecognizable.
The truth is that any of us can remake the entire world into one that has more joy, peace and love. When I am in a cranky place, I can't believe how grumpy and vindictive everyone is. But if I'm acting from my heart, the whole world is in love. It's through our own efforts that this happens. I can't tell you how many years I waited for the difficult people in my life to change. And yet when I began to change, I see it's not them, it's just my thoughts about them that are the problem.
They're trying their best, just like me. Even a glimpse of that is transformational. And worth every effort we put into it.
Jeff
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Just Busy
I've got a lot going on this week. I'm busy. I find my first inclination is to blame people when that happens. Maybe someone is late on something owed to me, or someone misunderstood something I said.
It turns into stress pretty quickly. And I find I'm quite good at questioning others' competence or motives, deflecting blame, getting defensive, and a host of other time-honored and not very honorable strategies.
But being busy doesn't mean that something is wrong.
And I generally find a way to get everything done that really needs to get done.
I find I'm more productive if I take breaks rather than push through. And more pleasant to be around, too. Today, I even got to the end of a major deliverable and took a 20 minute nap before moving on to the next one. I know I had some insights that I would not have had if I had pushed through, caffeinated, and worked without taking some time to breathe.
It's OK to be busy. Sometimes, it's just what's happening.
And when busy happens, we do our best and move on.
Jeff
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It turns into stress pretty quickly. And I find I'm quite good at questioning others' competence or motives, deflecting blame, getting defensive, and a host of other time-honored and not very honorable strategies.
But being busy doesn't mean that something is wrong.
And I generally find a way to get everything done that really needs to get done.
I find I'm more productive if I take breaks rather than push through. And more pleasant to be around, too. Today, I even got to the end of a major deliverable and took a 20 minute nap before moving on to the next one. I know I had some insights that I would not have had if I had pushed through, caffeinated, and worked without taking some time to breathe.
It's OK to be busy. Sometimes, it's just what's happening.
And when busy happens, we do our best and move on.
Jeff
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